Stars & Steel

When I designed the banner for this blog, I wanted a nursery mobile with swords and stars. When I got my tattoo, I asked for stars spiraling around a sword. The artist delivered (shoutout to Chey at The Kindred Spirit in Pittsburgh). My first two long-term Dungeons & Dragons characters were a sword-wielding barbarian and a Circle of Stars druid.

I have a theme, and I think it’s time we talked about it.

Steel is tangible. It comes from the earth, strong and abundant. Stars are out of reach. They are brilliant and beautiful, but I'm too short to pick one from the sky.

I am grounded, and I dream. I need to protect myself and push myself. I am human, and I am also stardust.

Longswords & Lullabies is a creative space where I tug at opposing concepts, rooted in HEMA (historical European martial arts). The steel sword is a starting point. I branch out through starry, abstract concepts, then let the sword bring my writing back to earth.

Writing about the greater lesson in a fitness class gave me a clarity I'd never had before. I spend a lot of time in my head, in the stars. And the physical memories of a longsword gave that self-love something to cling to, even in a death grip. I was scared to be bad at something new in front of others, and longsword let me be a beginner in a safe environment.

HEMA came during a dark period in my life, and it helped me unravel the negativity in which I'd protected myself. I learned longsword while feeling trapped, angry, and scared. The experience pushed me toward self-love when longsword became a part of my identity.

Am I good at HEMA? Not particularly. Is HEMA good for me? Absolutely.