Recovering From Uncertainty

Longsword is generally a two-handed weapon, but sometimes it's a great idea to let go with one hand. With both hands, my reach is limited by the slightly bent arm. If I release my blade with one hand, fully extend my arm, and let gravity carry it towards my opponent's firmly planted leg, that is called a Gayszlen.

A Gayszlen typically isn't your first intention when going for a strike. A Gayszlen means reading your opponent's next move. A Gayszlen can leave you exposed if you do not recover quickly.

There's a lot of trust in a Gayszlen, primarily trust in yourself.

I am the one limiting my reach if I don't let go. But when I drop my longsword with one hand, I also lose control by about fifty percent. Half of it is just gone, surrendered to gravity.

In so much of my life, I have had a death grip on my next move. Historically, it has been a challenge to let go, even if I can see that my first intention is not going to work. I know gravity will pull my sword where I want it to go. I believe in gravity. But only because I’m usually fighting against it.

When I let go and drop a Gayszlen, it's risky. Once I give in to gravity, it takes time to bring that sword back under my control. During that time, I have no way to protect myself, and the immediate future is uncertain. I have a low tolerance for uncertainty. And I’m real certain that I’m losing control of my sword.

But what is potentially hiding in that uncertainty? A risk implies that there could be a reward as well. What if I left more room for uncertainty, more spontaneity, more flow? In the past, uncertainty has been dangerous, but also wonderful. Could I be someone full of wonder? The only way to know is to release the death grip holding me back and trust that I will recover, even if there is no reward.

The Gayszlen also says that I don't have to let go completely. I can keep one death grip because no one should be throwing swords around. I trust my blade to fall, I trust gravity to pull it down.

And looking back on how many times I have already recovered from uncertainty, it’s easier to trust that I will recover this time too.