Grappling with choices

Last week I helped teach a class on grappling. Essentially, this is when you and your opponent are too close to anything but start wrestling. You can shove their sword away, deliver a strike with your pommel, or swing your blade around for, what's known in our club as, The Bee Sting.

When I'm in grappling range, it usually means I've misjudged things. I've made a poor choice, I'm too close, and now things are getting ugly. It's anxiety inducing.

What I learned this week, is that there's a counter for nearly everything, depending on your creativity and quick thinking.

As I helped with the class, I saw how one movement flowed into the next. I saw other students grapple with the lesson (literally) and help each other learn. It wasn't antagonistic, it was artistic.

Having the right teacher and the right team can make the difference in a learning experience.

Later during free spar (the time after instruction when people can just fight), my opponent kept hitting me on the hands. It happened three times in a row before I asked him to show me how he kept hitting me. We paused. Again, it wasn't antagonistic. He was my opponent and my teammate. Some people can hold both roles.

When I started longsword over a year ago, I was so scared. Historically speaking, I'm only competitive with myself, not others. I would push myself through work, school, creative projects, etc... just to see how far I could go. But put me against someone else, and I couldn't handle it. It felt like conflict. A clear winner and loser. A yes or no. Either an opponent or a teammate. I made the choice to keep going to longsword classes. I grappled with that choice. That choice got in my personal space and shoved my defenses out of the way, demanding an answer: stay or go.

I didn't make it in every week, but most weeks, I did.

Grappling requires an uncomfortable proximity for me. I may never be comfortable with it. But in longsword, my opponents aren't antagonists.